Love & Dating,  Confidence & Wellness

6 Eye-opening Do’s and Don’ts of Dating Confidence

We all know that dating confidence can go out the window once someone has been out of the dating game for so long.

You dread it, you second guess yourself but you know you really need to get back out there.

The thought of dating can seem like a complete disaster when you’re coming from a situation where you just got out of a long term relationship, or you just spent most of your time focusing on yourself.

And usually first dates, after some period of not dating, can become very, very awkward. After all, you are getting to know a complete stranger. 

Your date is analyzing your every move and you are analyzing your date’s every move. But, it doesn’t have to be rocket science. 

Here are a few tips that will help power up your dating confidence and help you get that call back for the second date.

Women with dating confidence on a date

1. DO get ready the right way for the instant dating confidence boost effect.

Make sure to plan hours in advance to get ready. 

Getting ready, hours in advance, helps you take your time in figuring out the perfect outfit, perfecting your makeup, and helps you to calm the butterflies in your stomach. 

Just like a job interview, you want to make sure you’re prepared and your appearance is presentable.

Now would also definitely be the time to invest in a banging outfit! 

Unlike a job interview, you want to be sure that the outfit you picked out shows a little bit of your sexy side.

By this I mean, accentuating your best feature. 

If your best feature is your lips, make them pop with a nice lipstick that goes great with your undertone. 

If your best feature is your legs, wear that mini skirt and balance it out with a nice long sleeve shirt. But, keep in mind, you do not want to go overboard. 

Leave something to the imagination and it will make your date want even more.

2. DONT show your pessimistic side quite yet. It will KILL your dating confidence.

No one wants to be around someone who seems like a gloomy, Eeyore (You know, the gloomy donkey from Winnie the Pooh)

Talking about why you hate where you live, why you don’t like this person and why you don’t like that person will increase the negatives vibes of your date and decrease your dating confidence.

Just thinking about all the negative things going on in your life will just bring more negative energy your way.

If you are having a bad day, try to see if you can reschedule the date. If not, try to refrain from complaining about the wrongdoings in your daily life.

Turn your thoughts into positive topics.

(You wouldn’t walk into an interview and start talking about all the things you hate about a job, would you?) Instead, try to talk about things that you are most proud of. 

3. DO give him compliments.

Who doesn’t love compliments? They make everyone feel special! 

Giving compliments even helps us feel special because it helps us see the good within ourselves. 

A simple “You look amazing” will have your date smiling uncontrollably.

4. DONT get distracted when he is talking.

Texting on your phone, or fidgeting will just show that you are nervous and that you have poor dating confidence.

Pay attention to the details when he is talking about himself (after all this is how you get to know someone). 

When you show him that you are listening, he will see that you are really interested him.

5. DO relax. Relaxing is a guaranteed dating confidence booster.

This is one of the most important steps. When you are relaxed you will be able to show your date your true self and you feel confident as a result. 

He will be able to see you for what you are, whether you are a jokester, whether you are sassy, or whether you are the down-to-earth chick. 

He will also see that you are not trying to hard to impress him which is a major plus. No one wants to look desperate, right?

If you find yourself feeling tense and you do need a moment to relax while you are on the date, going to the bathroom is the perfect excuse for finding a place to do some deep breathing exercises. 

A really good book that helped me relax during dates with deep breathing exercises is called The Healing Power of the Breath.

I especially love this book because it was written by Patricia L. Gerbarg, MD, a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry.

6. DONT follow up.

Your dating confidence will skyrocket when you feel like you are in control.

With that being said, to feel like you are in control it’s critical that you don’t follow up by texting your date after it’s over. Why you may ask? 

Not following up makes you look more mysterious and it makes your date question how the date went. 

When you don’t follow up, your date starts wondering, “Does she really even like me?” , “Did I say something stupid?”, “Maybe I should call or text her…”. 

Some people would advise against this saying, “Oh you’re just playing games”, but in my experience this is the best way to see if your date really likes you. You are not playing games if you are being honest once he follows up with you. 

This has worked for me and studies at the University of Chicago, have proven that guys love the thrill of chasing women. 

Again, after he follows up with you be honest and tell him your real thoughts about the date.

Do you have any tips to add to boost your dating confidence? Comment below. 

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